Do you love to have sex? Scientists know that sex is a pleasurable experience for most women. But how and why does it feel so good to have sex?
Sex is everywhere — if we're not watching actual sex scenes on TV or in the movies, we're watching celebrities parade down red carpets practically naked. It's not just porn that sets unrealistic expectations for what's sexy anymore, and it can be hard to feel like you measure up when it comes time to get naked IRL. But if you want to keep sex fresh in a long-term relationship or you want to feel more confident in the bedroom, there are plenty of things you can do without going OTT.
Why Is Sex Fun? The Evolution of Human Sexuality is a book about the evolution of human sexuality by the biologist Jared Diamond. Diamond addresses aspects of human sexuality such as why women's ovulation is not overtly advertised concealed ovulation ; why humans have sex in private rather than in public like other mammals; and why the ovaries are U-shaped.
I remember one evening, in the clinic where I used to drink coffee and collect condoms, a particular humorous remark made to a young prostitute by one of the older women. The humor—for those it is lost on—was in the absurdity. The truth of the matter is that the nature of prostitution flavours the sexual act as far too distasteful and too sleazy and too bound up with degradation to allow any kind of wholesale enjoyment. Of course this will fly in the face of the fantasists, but the reality of prostitution usually does.
If an animal must mate to reproduce, the entire future of its species depends on having sex. The most obviously beneficial adaptation for such a species is, therefore, pleasurable sex. While it's difficult to ask them if they enjoy doing the deed, a quick look at their behavior shows that, at the very least, most mammals and birds experience sexual pleasure.
We thought we were the only species to enjoy intimate interactions, but as Jason G Goldman discovers, a few curious couplings in nature have changed our view. Sex, we are told, is pleasurable. That's because most scientific accounts of sexual behaviour rest upon evolutionary explanations rather than the more immediately relevant mental and emotional experiences.
But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapistto help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off-limits, and all questions remain anonymous.
Sometimes you might end up doing it anyway, to please your partner swhich often leads to feelings of resentment later. Or you politely decline… again, and your partner starts to feel rejected or inadequate, which may also lead to feelings of resentment. Sex can take an expression of love and intimacy and start to feel like an obligation. Over time, you lose touch with your sense of desire, pleasure, and what you really want.
Your question gets at the heart of what many cognitive scientists in the fields of neuroscience, philosophy, and computer science are trying to address. This great mystery in science is consciousness. In particular, your question is related to the mind-body problem.